These boys love each other so much, and are such a blessing! Most days, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing as a mom. I want the very best for them as all parents do, but they challenge me (and my patience) constantly. This blog is not about me, but it is about our family. Days like today are a big/BIG reminder that 1/4 of our family is missing. I know that Carl is happy in Heaven, but those of us here still miss him.
Whenever we look at a photo or a favorite phrase of Carl's pops into my mind, I still cannot believe that he is gone. I love that these boys are growing to know about him more all the time. Today, Kellan asked if we could "make Daddy a cake - and eat it." Kellan's more casual questions and conversations are making it a bit more natural for me to talk freely and laugh with him about silly things his daddy said or did. It is never going to be easy, but I am starting to be able to enjoy the stories in these moments - and allow them to just be a sweet memory without the aching sense of loss.
We are so blessed with our family in Ireland, around the U.S. and right next door who keep this Momma sane (most of the time) with their support and love. I/We could not do this thing without you all. I am beyond blessed - even though I complain far to much. These little men are such a gift - and a legacy that Carl has left. There is a lot of energy and life in this house, and I know that makes him smile. There are many adventures ahead to be sure, but I am grateful for today...
Thinking of you on your birthday Carl/Daddy...xx
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